Does God's Will Include Choice?

Every Christian longs to know and do God’s will. It’s who we are. We love God and want to do what he wants us to do. But does he tell us what to do with every decision?

Does he let us choose? 

His will about telling his will is surprising and invigorating.

Three Positions About Decisions

When it comes to God’s will in decisions, people take one of three positions.

1. Some expect God to speak clearly every time a choice arises. They believe God’s ways are not ours and his thoughts are much better than ours (Isaiah 55:9). They believe Jesus’s followers know his voice, listen to it, and follow (John 10:1-5). They expect to hear every time.

2. Others believe that God doesn’t normally speak specifically about things and almost always leaves us to our own choices within his general and moral will, as given in the Bible. He created us with good brains, and he transforms our thinking so that our choices will be wise (Romans 12:2). We're to meditate on God’s Word (Psalm 1), store it in our memories (Psalm 119:11), pray for wisdom and understanding (Proverbs 2; James 1:5), and then make good decisions.

3. I have a different view, one that holds together the realities of the other two in tension. I see the Bible teaching that God sometimes tells Christians exactly what to do, and sometimes he gives us the freedom and pleasure of choosing what we want to do (within his moral or general will or within the framework of something bigger he previously led us to do). He speaks when he wants, and he often gives us a choice.

The Foundation of Choice

God desires us to be in a loving, personal, conversational relationship with him.

He loves us. He created us to love us (Ephesians 1:4). He doesn’t control us, and we certainly don’t control him. He longs for us to be friends and fellow workers with him (John 15:13-15; 1 Corinthians 3:9). A Christian’s relationship with God is grounded in love, and, in love, we develop our personal, conversational relationship where God can and does speak to us anytime he wants.

With the foundation of a loving, personal, conversational relationship, God can let us in on what he's doing (as Jesus modeled in John 5:19), tell us specifically what to do (Acts 9:10-16), or give us a choice. Whatever we choose (within his moral will or within the framework of anything else he previously led us to do) will be his will for us.

The Bible reveals that God often gives us choice.

I'll give two biblical examples, and they're about major life decisions—what we do in our careers and who we should marry.

God’s Will in Careers and Marriage

What career or job we choose within our chosen field often feels like a major life-altering decision. It makes sense that we'd want God to tell us what to do, especially for those who believe God knows us, the future, and what's best.

So we ask.

If God doesn’t answer, many people feel confused and stressed at the responsibility of making a choice alone.

Scripture reveals a few reasons why our prayers sometimes receive no answers, including:

• Ongoing sin.

• Self-centered requests.

• Unwillingness to follow God's will.

We can consider these when God is quiet.

But the Bible confirms that God is silent often because he's allowing us to choose.

For example, God miraculously captured Paul’s attention (he revealed his will), and Paul chose to follow Christ. At that time, God said he wanted Paul to be his missionary to the Gentiles (Acts 9:1-22). This became God’s specific will for Paul’s life, but it wasn’t too specific. We know Paul spent time alone with God, learned the gospel, and developed his knowledge and faith in preparation for that assignment. That took a few years.

Eventually, God spoke clearly and specifically to him and the church, telling them it was time to send Paul and Barnabas on their first missionary journey (Acts 13:1-4).

There is no mention, however, of God telling them specifically where to go or even how to spread the gospel.

It seems that within their general calling, God allowed their specific choices.

Paul knew what he was supposed to do, but God allowed him to figure out how. They used their wisdom, intelligence, and preferences to make a solid strategy to go to the big cities, where the most people were, and to speak in the synagogues first, where they would be most readily accepted. They then moved out into the marketplace, where the Gentiles (non-Jews) would be.

God could have given them detailed instructions, but he didn’t. He allowed them to choose.

We can see evidence that they were making choices and not always receiving divine revelations.

In Acts 16:6-10, we're told the Holy Spirit stopped Paul from going into Asia and then again from going into Bithynia. In their choosing, they were still listening for the Spirit. With a vision (another way God sometimes speaks specifically), the Holy Spirit helped them recalculate their GPS and head to Macedonia.

If God had given Paul and Barnabas specific directions all along, they wouldn't have tried to go somewhere God didn’t want them to go. The mistakes show that they were simply making choices, and all their choices, except those two, were just fine by God.

It'd be difficult for us to say that our jobs are more important than Paul’s job to spread the new gospel of Jesus Christ to the world for the first time. Yet, even within that crucial mission, God let—no, expected—Paul use his good brain, preferences, and counsel from his friends to make wise plans.

He might do the same for us in our careers and other big decisions.

What about marriage?

This is my second example.

Have you ever heard someone’s unknown future spouse called THE one (Insert heavenly music and twinkling eyes)? Many non-Christians think we should seek and pray for THE one, and by that, they mean the exact one person that God planned before the creation of time and then perfectly shaped in the womb and through the teen years to be THE one that we must, should, and will marry.

The scary thing about such thoughts is we might miss THE one, or we might choose one, and they are not THE one, and what do we do then?

It seems like too much pressure. It seems like too much control by a loving God. And it doesn’t seem to match what the Bible says.

This tradition has grown from a noble desire to make our biggest decisions in God’s will and not indulge our selfish desires. However, it often comes from a desire not to be responsible for such big decisions.

Our tradition could be wrong. It probably is.

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul teaches many important things about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. At the end of the chapter, he talks about a man dating a lady who's never been married. He says they can get married, or they can choose not to get married. It’s their choice (vs. 38). Interesting.

Then he talks about a lady whose husband died.

He says God’s general will allows her to remarry.

Here's how he says it: If her husband dies, she is free to marry…. Now, what do you expect him to say next? To marry who? If there was ever a time for God to teach us about THE one, this is it. We might expect Paul to say, “She's free to marry THE one God has chosen for her.”

But he doesn’t say that. He says it quite differently. He doesn’t even say she needs to pray about THE one she needs to marry.

Here, read it slowly. It might stun. This is what he wrote:

If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39, underline mine).

Wow. Catch that? He mentioned God’s general will, and we can’t go outside of it: Christians are free to marry or not marry, but if we marry, we should marry another Christ-follower.

Then, just like Paul in his career strategies, God gives us choices. On the big issue of life, who to marry, God says, “Marry anyone you like.”

After I first taught this, my wife talked to me. She said softly with a bit of a forlorn look and puppy dog eyes, “So, you’re saying God would've been fine if you'd married someone else?” My answer, which I thought was brilliant in the moment and certainly true but not so sensitive, was, “But I CHOSE YOU, and YOU CHOSE ME!”

It took her a while to appreciate that, but that's exactly how I think it often goes—not the conversation, but the choosing. (Full disclosure: God spoke to us and confirmed our choices in Cyndy and my story.)

When to Choose?

It’s not always our choice. God sometimes speaks clearly and specifically about things like marriage and our careers and what house to buy or where to go on vacation. I experience that and treasure his voice.

God speaks to me as I read the Bible.

He nudges me sometimes during the day.

He gives me vision and clarity in the middle of the night.

He uses other people and circumstances.

He lets me know how much money to give in our extra offering, has prodded me to witness to a friend, and speaks to me about what to write or speak. He sometimes gives me answers to big questions and helps me make big decisions.

And, for some, he might say specifically, “Marry her. She’s THE one.”

For others, he might declare, “You will be a school teacher, and you should move to this school district.”

But often, God will say by not saying anything, “Any of those options is fine. All of them are in my will. Relax. Choose whichever you like best.”

After we make a decision, God works with us to make the decision right.

Our confidence rises when we realize God is for us and with us.

Like good parents, God knows we must take responsibility and make decisions to mature. But if our choices become challenging, as most changes eventually do, God will help with the fallout.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28).

It's logical for God to allow choice.

God made us smart, and by choosing, we get smarter.

He also gave us style and personality and taste, and by allowing us to choose, he lets us enjoy our preferences–in our jobs, residence, churches, friends, hobbies, and our styles of most everything.

It's loving to allow our autonomy.

He made me attracted to my wife, and he didn’t force me to marry someone I wasn’t attracted to. It’s as if he pulled beside me and said, “What do you think? Is she nice? Do you like how she thinks? Do you think her laugh is cute? Could you enjoy looking at her each morning? She's a Christ-follower, you know. But, it’s up to you (and, ultimately, up to her).”

That's beautiful and freeing.

When options are within God’s moral will, while I'm responsible, God's on my side.

He's with me,

guarding me,

guiding me,

giving me wisdom.

Cheering my choice.

The Psalmist learned that when he penned,

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

In context, delight means more than enjoyment, though it does mean that. It also means trusting, obeying, following, and committing to God’s ways above ours.

And if we do (if we seek to love and please God, develop a personal, conversational relationship of love and following), then our desires will be in line with his and in line with who he made us to be and how he made us enjoy life.

When God doesn’t want to tell us what to do, we know he wants us to choose what to do.

And our choice will be right in the middle of his will.

As Christians, we can do the work to cultivate our relationship with God.

We can study his Word to know his ways and his moral will.

We can be eager to do whatever he tells us to do through his Word or the Holy Spirit.

We can always ask him if he has anything he wants to tell us about our decisions. We should ask with the right motives.

Often, God will then say, “It’s your choice."

Or (and this becomes clearer as our relationship with Christ grows), his silence will signal the decision is ours to make.

Then, we can confidently and joyfully choose.

Resources:

• Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God, by Henry Blackaby and Claude King

• Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God, by Dallas Willard

• Answers to Prayer, by George Muller

• Bill Hybels, Too Busy Not to Pray (see chapters 8 and 9)

• The Circle Maker: Praying Circles around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears, by Mark Batterson