A Simple Way to Change the World Every Day
Something disturbs me about walking on the beach. It reflects a fear most of us have about the impact of our lives.
I love the beach. My wife, Cyndy, loves it more. At times we play in the waves, gobble up the sun, and sit in the sand with our eyes shut and let the rhythm of the waves float away our worries. Other times we just take a walk.
As we walk, our feet press into the sand. The mud-like grains squishing between our toes is as therapeutic to us as a full-body massage is for others.
Sometimes I turn around and look where we’ve been. We can see our path and how far we’ve come, but we usually can’t see our impact. The waves erase our footprints, and it appears that we were never there, which isn’t a big deal on a sandy walk. But it is a concern in my life.
I fear my life’s footprints won’t remain. Or worse, I wonder if I’m making any difference.
It’s not that I crave being remembered. I’m not a big fan of the I-need-to-leave-a-legacy approach to life. But I highly favor influencing others and making their lives better, turning them toward God and poking openings for his grace to pour in. And there are days when I don’t think I do.
On those days, I get an odd sensation—feelings of motivation and regret wrestle on the floor of my stomach.
That’s the physical manifestation of my fear of wasting my life.
We may long to change the world in big ways, solving poverty, developing a foundation for sick children, or doing something so significant that authors clamor to write our biography. We should always be chasing big dreams, the ones God plants in us, but we should not discount the latent power in common encounters with others.
Here’s a simple way to radically impact the world every day and to make footprints that last. What I’m talking about is fairly easy. It doesn’t cost much. We don’t need a lot of skill. It earns us heavenly rewards, and it’s fabulously fun. And here it is.
Every encounter with another person is a chance for us to brighten that person’s life with our words.
We can change someone’s emotions in an instant. We can persuade them to alter the direction of their life with a few encouraging sentences. And the repercussions are exponentially compounded when they receive similar expressions from multiple people. Our words can change the world by changing people.
Because words are so powerful, if we’re not careful, we can bring darkness, as one of my latest people encounters revealed.
I opened the front door for Cyndy the other night, welcoming her to one of our favorite restaurants. No cooking. Delicious food. A beautiful space for a connecting conversation. We smiled at each other with anticipation.
Then we walked up to the host. And she sabotaged our moods.
I’m assuming the young lady was hired to provide hospitality and guidance, the first face you see, the first voice you hear. A mood-setter.
However, she leaned her five-foot-seven-inch body against the wall, her mask seemingly supporting her desire to scowl. She played with her tablet like a teenager on a cell phone at a family reunion. As we approached, she grunted two words, “How many?”
We said it was just the two of us.
And then she did nothing else.
Zero.
No movement. No eye contact. No words.
“Did you get that?” I eventually asked her. I couldn’t help but probe.
“Go in there,” she mumbled and shrugged toward the main waiting area. And she was done with us.
But, unfortunately, we weren’t done with her. Our thoughts about her kept bothering us, even after we left her to her leaning and loathing, and we sat down at our table.
The ongoing irritation she caused was like a lingering itch after scraping by a thorn bush. We didn’t waste it though.
Over dinner, we reflected on the massive power every human being possesses with our words.
It’s a power to bless or to curse, to do good or to bring harm, even to lighten or darken a potentially delightful dinner.
That power is present in every encounter. Maybe that’s why the teacher of wisdom said,
“The tongue has the power of life and death,” (Proverbs 18:21 NIV).
James thought so too. He was Jesus’ half-brother and the leader of the Jerusalem church in biblical times. In a letter he wrote, one of the most practical in the New Testament, he spent one-tenth of his words writing about the power of our words.
He riffed on how the tongue’s size is disproportionate to its power, just as a tiny bit controls a two-thousand-pound horse, or a small rudder directs a massive boat, and an itty-bitty spark enflames an entire forest. With our small words, we have influence. James reminds us that influence can be used for good or bad (James 3:9).
We can spread light and love and laughter. Or we can shed darkness and hate and depression.
By speaking the right words, we can change someone’s day, and maybe their life, for the good.
It’s happened to me.
I don’t know the man’s name and I can’t recall his face. But I remember his words, even decades later.
I was a teenager and had spoken on a Sunday night at church with a fidgety body and stammering voice. And afterward, as I quietly kicked myself for my lack of eloquence, he looked me in the eye and said, “God’s hand is on you, son. He’s going to use you to bless others.”
His words found a permanent home in my memory. They were brief but powerful. They were life-changing and lasting.
I want to be like him to others.
The prolific author Neil Gaiman once said in a commencement speech at The University of the Arts: “Make the world more interesting for your being here."
He attempted to inspire young graduates to go into the world and unabashedly make their art.
We don’t have to make art to make the world more interesting. We can do that in common encounters with simple words.
Let people know we notice them, understand them, believe in them, and that we’re with and for them.
We don’t have to have long conversations. They don’t even have to be conversations. A sentence often does the deed.
That grunting greeter got under Cyndy and my skin, and she reminded us of the potential we possess, that we all possess, every day, with every encounter, in person or in a text or post. We have an astonishing capacity to build or to break.
And too often, I am like the leaning host, missing my chance to shine.
I have been awoken. Our dinner conversation propelled Cyndy and me to become better at bringing light and change to the world in little-but-wonderful ways with our words.
Every encounter with another person is a chance for us to brighten that person’s life with our words.
Every day, we can stoke hope. We can say things about God or say godly things about people.
We may turn around each evening, and all our footprints from that day are washed away.
But, if we’ve had at least one encounter with another human that day and spoken with kindness and hope, or diffused conflict with calmness, or brightened their day with humor or a compliment, if we reflected the glory and goodness of God with our plain words, then our impressions can have lasting power.
We’ll have changed the world by altering someone’s emotional state or foundational belief because we spoke. We’ll have helped them move forward, and that will have been a good day.
For them and for us.